review

Animu-time: Jormungand: Perfect Order

NOTICE: Hi. What you’re reading is an old review from when I was using a different template. It was kind of ugly, so I switched. If I make a mention of spoilers going to be blacked out, they won’t be. Sorry. It’s just so long ago I wrote this and it’s a bother to go back and edit it extensively. Sorry if you get spoiled, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t put any major spoilers in anything without giving big warnings about it first. Cheers.

Jormungand: PO is a good anime

Well, of course this was coming next. The crazy hijinks and bold plans with Koko and company continue in the sequel to Jormungand. How does the second coming of Jormungand fare? I’m here to tell you that it’s better this time around. How do you improve Jormungand’s formula, you ask? You make it more focused. Spoilers for the first season finale below.

So, Koko and her friends are still roaming the world and everything is swell. Oh wait, no it’s not. The story takes place right after the end of the previous one. R is a double agent who is spying on Koko for the CIA; Hex, a woman from Kokos past, is here for blood; All this while Operation Undershaft is trying to figure out what the hell Koko is trying to do. So let’s look at the formula set for the previous season and see it it still is in place here.

The crew arrives.
Stuff goes awry and they need a way out / need to out-think their opponents / straight up kill dudes.
Mission completed and on to next arc.

Yep. Although this time around the arcs are longer and more focused on storytelling rather than outmanoeuvring and killing enemies.

Here’s a run-down on the cast if you need to freshen your memory.

Koko Hekmatyar: Arms dealer, handling business mainly in Europe and Africa. Very charismatic and beautiful. Usually very energetic and behaving sometimes like a child, she has a ruthless interior and on multiple occasions called a monster.
Although usually cool with a smile on her lips…

Koko has one of the most intimidating glares in anime.
Jonah: Child soldier. His parents were killed in an air-strike and he became a child soldier shortly after. Has a strong hate for weapons, but still works for Koko, often serving as her bodyguard.
Jonah. Shows more understanding than expected from a child.
Lehm: Ex-Delta Force operator. Used to be active in Somalia. Second in command of Koko’s crew. Veteran mercenary who takes charge when armed conflict arises. Used to work for Koko’s father. Very versatile in weapon use, ranging from long-distance sniping to close quarters combat.

Lehm in action, sniping suckas from a car.
Valmet: Ex-Major serving for UN forces in Africa. Her unit got slaughtered by Chen Guoming and she lost an eye in the attack. Since then, she suffers from anxiety whenever she sets foot in Africa. Very proficient with knives and pistols.
Valmet, close combat specialist with a crush on Koko.

Then there are the rest of the cast, that aren’t given much other than support roles most of the time. Technically only Koko and Jonah are the only real main characters, but Valmet and Lehm are given much more time on screen than the other side characters, so they got images as well.

Mao: One of the regular grunts of the group. Was discharged after a training exercise went awry. Picked up by shortly after. The only one of the group to have a family (as in wife + kids). He lied to them in order to leave. Teaches science to Jonah between missions.
R: Former Italian intelligence officer. Revealed in the last episode of the former season to be a mole for the CIA.
Had to give R a picture due to his awesomeness in the opening arc.
Ugo: Former Mafia driver and enforcer. Spared by Koko when his family was destroyed. A behemoth of a man, he possesses immense strength. The crew’s driver when needing a getaway.
Lutz: Former police sniper, part of a counter-terrorist unit. Very hesitant to kill young targets.
Tojo: Previous Japanese black-ops operative, working in places like Cuba. In charge of teaching Jonah maths between missions.
Wilee: Former explosives expert and ex-lieutenant of the 20th Engineer Brigade of the XVIII Airborne Corps of the US Army. Assigned to give Jonah English lessons between missions. Is the only member aside Koko to be black-listed by the FBI.

The perils of having a huge cast like this is apparent in the second season, just as it was in the first one, but the show does a good job at dealing out screen-time this time around and you quickly get a good vibe where everyone’s at. It’s still the same colourful cast with no subs, so if you liked them in the first season, there’s more goodness here. The opening arc, dealing with R being a double agent and Hex coming after Koko is without a doubt the series’ strongest, with some strong, emotional moments. It sets up a season that is in its entirety better than its predecessor. The stakes are raised for Koko and her compatriots. Nobody’s safe in this crazy world.

The second season takes a step back from the group dynamic at times and focuses solely on Jonah and Koko. They’re interesting contrasts. Koko is the daughter of a shipping magnate and presumably had a very peaceful, or at least pampered life as she grew up. Jonah meanwhile, grew up in a war-zone and had his parents blown up by a bomber, coincidentally sold by Koko’s brother, Kasper. Jonah hates weapons with all his being, and Koko sells them for a living. The two make a fantastic leading duo and represent the tension and morals towards the end of a magnificent series.

The morality of the characters are brought froward into the centre this time around, and when Koko reveals her master plan that she’s been working on for a long time, it’s surprising it wasn’t brought up earlier. I can understand the reason why it’s hidden for so long, but I don’t agree with the choice. It would have been interesting to have it in the open for longer and see how it affected the supporting characters.

So, the story. It’s better, considering there’s actually a story this time. From the first episode to the last, every episode is connected to Koko’s goal, which is revealed a bit into the season. The series sheds its episodic skin, and so the arcs are more focused and character-driven, much to my joy.

The art is just as clean and well-done as it was in the first series. Maybe even better. Some backdrops are absolutely stunning. The character design is much like the first series, although a bit more realistic in general this time around, when it comes to the supporting cast of revolving antagonists/partners.

The voice acting and soundtrack of the series is way better than the first season. Actors have more opportunities to get heated here and some excellent dramatic episodes bring out the best of all. The music is still top-notch, and the opening song especially is fantastic.

The theme and pacing are still the same in this second serving of Koko’s adventures. The more story-focused approach leads to a better balanced product, with the episodes being better structured and the tone being a bit darker. With it, my pleas for the show to have less comedy are answered, as the show did turn towards the more serious in this venture, and the show is better off without the forced comedic elements.

The antagonists and threatening forces this time around are more realistic and grim. There’s not a crazy villain with ridiculous fighting techniques. It’s guns vs guns and tactics + strategy in a wild dance of death.

Enjoyment-wise, Jormungand: PO lands a step above its former series with more thrilling planning; cooler action; better humour; and tear-inducing, heart-wrenching drama. Once again with a Jormungand series, the variance is its strength, balancing several genres and giving them good time. It’s one of those series’ where you finish one episode and keep watching. Not because there’s a crazy cliffhanger, but because the atmosphere, characterisation and execution of the series is so fantastic that you can help wanting to spend more time in Koko’s mad world. Jormungand: Perfect Order is a rare gem to find in today’s anime world, a show with an identity so unique and fresh you can’t help but be swept away by its charm.

Animu-time: Jormungand

Jormungand is a good anime

So, I decided to watch Jormungand. And it’s made by the fuckers that made Steins;Gate. Which means I’m excited. Spoilers in black text as usual. They also made the very uneven Katanagatari, but that’s a story for another time.

Jormungand is the story of a crew of arms dealers, led by the charismatic Koko Hekmatyar. The series is mostly episodic, weaving in some character arcs on the way. Usually the formula is this:

The crew arrives.
Stuff goes awry and they need a way out / need to out-think their opponents / straight up kill dudes.
Mission completed and on to next arc.

Pretty easy formula to make a series from. I’m sure that if you’ve heard about this series earlier, then you’ve heard about the series that undoubtedly stands as a huge influence: Black Lagoon. Black Lagoon is about a small group of people who conduct usually illegal business and get in trouble with all sorts of people. Jormungand is basically this, but with a bigger group. Now, obviously Jormungand isn’t a straight rip-off of BL, it just builds from the same ground. While BL arcs usually comes together with cooperation and the combined with of the Lagoon Crew, Jormungand is basically The Koko Show. And that’s perfectly fine. Koko carries the series very well. For a more fleshed out character run-down, look below:

Koko Hekmatyar: Arms dealer, handling business mainly in Europe and Africa. Very charismatic and beautiful. Usually very energetic and behaving sometimes like a child, she has a ruthless interior and on multiple occasions called a monster.
Although usually cool with a smile on her lips…

Koko has one of the most intimidating glares in anime.
Jonah: Child soldier. His parents were killed in an air-strike and he became a child soldier shortly after. Has a strong hate for weapons, but still works for Koko, often serving as her bodyguard.
Jonah. Shows more understanding than expected from a child.
Lehm: Ex-Delta Force operator. Used to be active in Somalia. Second in command of Koko’s crew. Veteran mercenary who takes charge when armed conflict arises. Used to work for Koko’s father. Very versatile in weapon use, ranging from long-distance sniping to close quarters combat.
Lehm in action, sniping suckas from a car.

Valmet: Ex-Major serving for UN forces in Africa. Her unit got slaughtered by Chen Guoming and she lost an eye in the attack. Since then, she suffers from anxiety whenever she sets foot in Africa. Very proficient with knives and pistols.

Valmet, close combat specialist who is in love with Koko.

Mao: One of the regular grunts of the group. Was discharged after a training exercise went awry. Picked up by shortly after. The only one of the group to have a family (as in wife + kids). He lied to them in order to leave. Teaches science to Jonah between missions.
R: Former Italian intelligence officer. Revealed in the last episode to be a mole for the CIA. Not given much screen-time, sadly.
Ugo: Former Mafia driver and enforcer. Spared by Koko when his family was destroyed. A behemoth of a man, he possesses immense strength. The crew’s driver when needing a getaway.
Lutz: Former police sniper, part of a counter-terrorist unit. Very hesitant to kill young targets.
Tojo: Previous Japanese black-ops operative, working in places like Cuba. In charge of teaching Jonah maths between missions.
Wilee: Former explosives expert and ex-lieutenant of the 20th Engineer Brigade of the XVIII Airborne Corps of the US Army. Assigned to give Jonah English lessons between missions. Is the only member aside Koko to be black-listed by the FBI.

The big cast isn’t a bad thing in itself, but it doesn’t help either. It’s quite logical that an arms dealer would have a decently sized squad with her, but most of the characters see very little air time. Everyone gets to have their arcs play out (some have theirs in the second season) sooner or later, but it’s a shame we aren’t given more time to know the entire cast better. Especially, since they keep being given airtime and dialogue with Koko that are defined by their characters and their pasts, both of which we don’t know. Valmet has a very strong arc in the second half of the series. The characters mostly revolve in and out when they have an arc or not. When they’re around, they contribute to the colourful group of people.

To my surprise, there is little discussing of morality around, especially considering Jonah is a fucking child soldier. Sure, it’s brought up, but quickly shot down at times. Let’s be frank about this, the characters in the show aren’t good guys. They’re varying degrees of bad, I guess. Or, a better way to put it would be that they are all in the moral grey zone. They’re portrayed romantically as the heroes, so naturally you’re going to root for them when the oddball villains pop up to kill them. I wanted to see some more discussion or feelings about war, than what we got. It is a character-driven drama/action series, which is right up my ally, but I feel they do themselves a disservice to skip some strong discussion points on the way. And it’s topical because, you know, there’s tons of child soldiers in the world.

As for the story, there’s not a whole lot to be had, except for when the supporting characters have their arcs. The story follows the crew as they deliver and/or sell weapons and other necessities to a diverse set of people. They’re usually dealing in Europe and Africa through the season. Then there’s usually a villain for each episode, with some villains lasting another one or two more. The formula mentioned before is how the episodes unfold.

Something that quickly stands out is the very distinct art-style. It’s not super drastically different compared to most other anime. It’s usually very realistic, sometimes with some exaggerated details, usually the eyes. For the most part it’s absolutely gorgeously drawn and animated. Backgrounds are usually done nicely as well, and at times with great and impressive detail.

The voice acting is excellent across the board. The only drawback is that there’s rarely chances for the actors to use a wider range than slow drama and some comedy here and there. The soundtrack is good when used. Pretty sweet electronic battle music. OP (opening theme) and ED (ending theme) are both excellent songs.

As far as the general theme of the show goes, it’s usually a slow-paced drama with some comedy blended in. Then there’s the occasional high-speed action scenes when deals either go tits-up or there’s other people that want to hit Koko’s group.

As for the comedy, it’s a bit too much. I would have prepared being almost completely without it. In the most serious episodes, there’s practically none of it, and they’re so much better off without. The comedic parts being randomly inserted here and there just disturb the pacing and atmosphere of the series. It just feels like something inserted to please the mainstream audiences. The thing is though, that this isn’t really a series made for mainstream audiences. It’s about killers and mercenaries selling weapons to guerillas and warlords. Not something that you want your kids or the family to sit down and watch in the evening. Inserting comedy into the formula is detrimental to the concept and leaves us a worse product to enjoy. I want to stress that I’m not anti-comedy, but doing it as half-heartedly and shallow as it is here it can only work badly.

The antagonists that pop into the episodes are along the lines of the comedic tendencies mentioned. They’re almost always very eccentric or have some crazy fighting style. In some arcs it works, like when the crew goes to Africa and come face-to-face with an old enemy of one of the crew members. They usually don’t take anything away from the enjoyment, but they don’t usually add to it either.

As for the enjoyment, it’s great. While not being the best I’ve veer seen, this series is highly enjoyable. It’s variance is it’s strength, and while I don’t usually like the comedy, some light-hearted scenes are always good in a series like this. From slow-paced planning with some tense meetings with antagonists; to high-speed gun-play and chase-scenes, Jormungand is one hell of a ride, and it’s a pleasure watching it. While not always ending in cliffhangers, the show still gets you excited to watch the next episode after you finish one, and that’s high praise for a series. Jormungand is a delight to watch, and should be seen by people interested in serious drama, and is obviously very recommended for fans of Black Lagoon.

If you like it, check out it’s sequel, Jormungand: Perfect Order.

I Played A Game: Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider is a good game.

So, I gave in, despite my starving wallet’s futile pleads, and bought Tomb Raider on Origin. I thought it looked great, but as I’m kinda low on cash at the moment I intended to let the price drop before getting it. Origin had a pretty good price so I picked it up. Funnily enough it uses Steamworks, so I had to install it on Steam anyway. WTF? Not that I mind, I have tons of games on and greatly enjoy using Steam. That sounded a bit corny. Anyway. ONTO THE TEXTING OF THINGS! Let’s begin with a run-down of the plot. I’ll try to keep this all spoiler-free. If there are spoilers, I’ll try to put them in red text.

While on an archaeology expedition with… other archaeologists, the ship Lara’s on (The Endurance, if my memory is correct) goes down and wrecks and the crew escapes. Most of the crew looks like they survived. Lara gets snagged by some guys as she crawls onto the beach. She wakes up upside down in a cave. Looks like she’s run into a cult of crazy dudes. After some burning of wood and a few QTEs, she makes it out and rejoins her friends. More things happen and Lara and the Endurance’s survivor’s are put against the cultists and try to find a way of the accursed island. Supernatural stuff are abound as Lara explores tombs and learn to survive on the island. The story is pretty simple but does a good job at taking you with it and making you care. The writing itself is a bit wonky at times. It goes wildly swinging from great and involving to horribly weak and redundant. It’s mostly good, but more consistency would have been nice.

One of the first thing you’ll notice is that the game is very beautiful. Very nicely crafted surroundings and impressive models make for a very pleasing visual experience.

Another thing you’ll notice is something that’s become a pet peeve of mine the last years. Quick-time-events. There are a TON of QTEs all over this game. Especially in the beginning of the game. As the story progresses they begin to thin out, but they come back in boss-battles and such. One of the reasons I don’t like QTEs are the way they’re often used, like in this game. Especially in boss-fights, where you try to find the right angle to shoot an enemy. However, you can only defeat the enemy in a specific way. First you dodge, and then you shoot his back. Then comes the QTE. Hit the button at the right timing and you cause damage. Rinse and repeat. I’d rather have a free-flowing battle where you wear down the enemy or find different ways to hurt him. For example:

Shoot the guy in the leg with your bow to slow him down.
Use the shotgun to blow his helmet off.
Dodge near a wall to make him get his hammer stuck.

And more possible things to do, instead of being tied to the one and only way to win the battle. It’s just lazy design to have it come down to a QTE. Slight spoiler: The final boss even comes down to a QTE.

And hey, the soundtrack is really good.

Jason Graves has composed a fantastic soundtrack that gets you caught up in the action. I’m definitely ordering this soundtrack ASAP. Great emotional, epic and action-y scores help the game have that much more impact. He even had a crazy instrument sculpted for the game. Check it out:

When soundtracks are this good, they enhance the entire experience, and Graves managed just that. Hats off to you, mate.

On the topic of audio, the voice acting of this game is absolutely bloody amazing. Especially Camilla Luddington, who of course plays the part of Lara. None of the bigger roles are anything but good, and apart from some very minor characters having some sketchy acting, it’s great all around.

Speaking of characters (nice segue, bwaha), most of the characters beside Lara are pretty bad. Except for Roth, who is pretty excellent, although clichéd, Jonah and Alex are pretty decent but are pictured as being pretty stupid. The female side-characters Reyes and Sam are absolutely worthless throwaway characters. Reyes is angry at Lara at the beginning of the game because Lara suggested going to the Dragon’s Teeth spot (presented as some Bermuda Triangle) and continues to be a massive bitch throughout the game until the final act, when she comes around and becomes nice and trusty. If she’s going to be a bitch, at least give her a good reason to be vile, instead of temporary setbacks. Also, she has a daughter, so that makes her near invincible, because of the sentimental value. Sam, on the other hand is just completely worthless. I get that she’s Lara’s friend, so Lara wants to save her, but she’s just such an idiot. Always getting stuck and kidnapped by the antagonist and then being horribly one-dimensional. In one of the few exposition-pieces she gets, she talks about taking Lara to bars and meeting cute guys. Yay.

Gameplay-wise, it’s pretty good. Besides the QTEs, there’s a lot of free-running and jumping around. I would have wanted it to bee more free, though, as there are usually only one way up to certain areas. My main anger is that there is a huge emphasis on action. You rarely get to go anywhere without stumbling into a ton of enemies, who are lying in ambush pretty much all over the island. I’d have rather seen more of an emphasis on exploration, as well as being given alternate paths to deal with eventual problems. Some are given, but it’s almost never an option to avoid direct combat, which is a bit sad. Also, this makes the tone of the game suffer a bit as well, as you get dulled by the amount of deaths.

Speaking of tone, (segue-master 9000) this game is gritty as fuck. Lara is a pretty girl, but she gets abused, dragged through the mud, falls of cliffs and all sorts of violence. She’s dirty, bloody and bruised throughout the game, which makes her a more interesting and real character and helps the game produce its dark atmosphere.

Regarding Lara, she’s obviously the best character of the game as it’s all about her. Strong-willed, smart, beautiful and the list goes on. Lara’s the star of the show, and you get a lot of time getting to know her.

To wrap up: Tomb Raider is a very good game and fun experience. It should have been better but lack of focus on writing and things that aren’t Lara stops it from being a possible contender for GOTY. If you have the dough, pick it up. Recommended.

Points and stuff:

Pros:

Kinda interesting story
Beautiful scenery
Fantastic soundtrack
Lara Croft
Voice Acting
Gritty as fuck

In between:

Roller-coaster writing (swings wildly from horrible to very good)

Cons:

Dreadful side-characters
Too much action
SO MANY QTEs

Max Payne 3 is not a good game

This will have some plot spoilers for Max Payne 3. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

So, after putting it off for the longest time I decided to finally slo-mo throw myself into Rockstar’s attempt at the Max Payne franchise. However, after playing it, I regret ever pressing start.

Allow me to bring up some old MP-memories. Max Payne was awesome to me because it was so very self-conscious about how stupid and outright ridiculous its plot and set pieces were at times. The game-play was tight and encounters were pretty damn awesome. There are not a lot of situations that you couldn’t solve by leaping head first into a room and bore holes through heads with the assistance of gun-propelled-bullets. Also, Max always looked like a huge tool when throwing himself around.

Another thing the game did so well was the cut-scenes. While other game companies prefer exquisitely pre-rendered scenes where characters throw words at each-other (granted, I do like beautiful cut-scenes at times, as long as they move the plot forward), Max Payne had these awesome comic-style cut-scenes, giving colour and substance to the characters and looking incredibly stylish at the same time.

To Max Payne 3, then. The beginning of the game fits the character pretty well. Max is almost constantly on drugs, having taken a terribly shitty job in Brazil protecting a rich family that he’s disgusted with. This is very Noir, which is a theme involved in the original games as well.

Noir is a theme that I’m very high on at the moment, even running a campaign of the Swedish RPG Noir for my group. Noir the game is a terribly dark world where the players are horribly oppressed by the big bad government of the war-machine that is The Empire. Anyway, a common theme in Noir (French for “black”) is that the characters are shit out of luck. Most dudes are drunken failures of corrupt officers of the law doing bad stuff and getting into fights. It’s not uncommon for characters to go crazy or depressed in a Noir-style game.

Max is obviously right there with other Noir characters. In the first game, his wife and child are killed by druggies and he punishes the thugs he faces, so its firmly established that it’s a fairly dark character off the get-go. This keeps up through the second game and into MP3, where he is now this drunken shell of a man.

So Max is drunk in Brazil, working for a rich family he doesn’t like, as he spends minutes pointing out. The family he’s protecting is the Brancos, a rich elite family in Brazil clearly aware of the potential danger they face just going out to dinner, but still going out of their way to extravagant parties. So there’s Rodrigo, Victor, Marcelo and Fabiana. Rodrigo does real-estate things, Victor is a politician (and acting like he’s obviously the antagonist from the first scene, god damn it, Rockstar), Marcelo is a ~~retarded~~ incredibly dense party cat and Fabiana is Rodrigo‘s trophy wife. We’re given no reason to like these characters or even get some shallow attachment before some random gangsters burst in through the elevator (because personal security in Brazil means nothing) and grab Rodrigo and try to make off with him. So Max and Passos (Max‘ bodyguard partner and buddy, and also the only character who’s consistently good through the game) chase after them and Max makes the save after some craaaaaAAaaaAAAzy slow-motion action. Seriously, Rockstar managed to make the slo-mo stuff useless later in the game, but here it works decently well. Max Payne was always more fun when going up against few opponents at a time. However, a cover mechanic is implemented to show how little creativity was invested in the product and also a stupid “Last Stand” mechanic, where when you go down with a pain pill available, you get the chance to shoot back at the dude that downed you and if you get him, you get to continue breathing and shooting peeps. Oh yeah, the story; Some paramilitary guys show up and execute some of the favela gangbangers that tried to kidnap Rodrigo. Big whoop. It’s actually funny, because no one in the scene seems to care that they blatantly kill people in plain sight.

So onwards, The Brancos (Marcelo and Fabiana + Giovanna, who is actually a good character and later revealed to be Passos‘ girlfriend) head to another party a little later (I think it’s a week or something, but I really wouldn’t out it past them to go and party the same day as the attempted kidnapping), with Max and Passos as their bodyguards on duty. Everything goes as planned and everyone goes home happy. LOL, as if.

Max is drunk as hell and fails to help those he’s supposed to protect when favela gangbros pop in again to kidnap the Brancos and company. He chases after them though. There’s a rather funny cut-scene where Max speaks to some retired American cop hiding in a toilet stall. After some crazy chases and Max hanging from a helicopter, killing gangsters like it’s his hobby, they get back Marcelo and Giovanna, but Fabiana is kidnapped. Max is sad about this, and indulges in some alcohol.

In their ever-present idiocy, the Brancos send Max and Passos with a ton of money to a football stadium in a supposed ransom exchange. Obviously things go to hell in a hand-basket. Some paramilitary dudes show up and intercept the exchange. Max gets shot in the arm and bleeds a lot. He and Passos fight their way through a ton more faveladudes and militarybros before failing, as the militarymen make it off with the money and then inexplicably decides not to shoot down Max and Passos as they escape.

Max then decides to sneak into a camp of baddies, which obviously turn into a huge battle and a following boat chase, utterly ridiculous in set pieces and bland shooting. It goes on for so long that it just becomes a tiring chore. The gangers escape with Fabiana.

Max discusses things with Rodrigo and Victor, as well as some other dude, when the paramilitary guys (Crachá Preto) show up. Max fights off the paramilitary guys and goes back to Rodrigo, who has been assassinated, even though he’s locked himself inside his armour-protected office. Sigh. A bomb goes off as well and Max somehow survives. He then walks through the burning and collapsing building (which is becoming a moronic set-piece trend these days) and finds out from a dying Crachá Preto guy, that the reason they attacked is that they are mad at Max for killing their guys, which is ridiculous as they had the chance to waste Max a ways back, but apparently it’s a conspiracy so it’s all right. Ugh.

Max decides to lay off the substances and shaves his head for some reason. I’ve read it’s because he wants to remain incognito, but it’s been firmly established at that point that Max is slightly below Terminator-class, being able to take out paramilitary squads on his own so the entire thing is really stupid and the shaven head thing was obviously so that Rockstar could get some publicity for their game (HEY GUYS LOOK AT MAX PAYNE’S HEAD! HE SHAVED IT! WOOOOOOOOooooooo!).

Max gets robbed by some random thugs and walks into a bar, where a random Brazilian cop called Da Silva walks in and tells Max some stuff. Apparently Victor is probably evil, which we all figured out in the first minute.

Max kills some more favela citizens and then finds Fabiana. However, Marcelo and Giovanna has shown up with money. Sigh. Max thinks for a few seconds and decides to do something about the situation, and I swear he chose the worst decision possible. Whoever thought this was a realistic and good part of the story needs to be sent to Game Purgatory. Max just walks right into the room and gets disarmed because he’s obviously helplessly outnumbered. I get that the writers had zero creativity left at that point, but I swear, by then they just decided to have Max walk through terrible dramatic scenes to the next, marred by horrible choices and extremely stupid actions. Max pleads with them not to shoot the girls, so the favelabro kills Fabiana. Nice.

Max chases after the live remaining people he can actually help, and on the way fights militarybros and gets to witness some corruption. The game-play at this part is actually one of the better segments of the game, but it’s hard to suspend your disbelief as Max takes on entire military squadrons and walks away alive. Max finds Giovanna and Marcelo, who is killed in a process apparently called necklacing (forcing one or more rubber tires filled with a flammable fluid around a person and putting them on fire) in front of Giovanna. Max rushes out from cover and of course fails to help Marcelo, but avenges him by killing the man who put him on fire with a machete or something. Max then hides with Giovanna and after sleeping they intend to leave the place they’re at and attempt to get picked up by Passos.

The next arc of the game is by far and away its best. Max protects Giovanna from paramilitary and straight up military groups as they try to get some place safe to try and get picked up by Passos. Yes, it’s basically an escort arc, but it features the best storytelling in the entire game. Giovanna is pregnant with Passos‘ child and Max is determined to protect her. There’s such excellent character moments and nuances to the arc that it’s hard to stop playing. Opposition numbers are generally held to an appropriate number, which is rare in this game as every opponent is extremely accurate with lightning reflexes and always do incredible damage. Sadly for Max, the arc ends with Passos flying off with Giovanna, while Max is left as bait to cover their retreat.

I quit playing shortly after. The story just became so incredibly melodramatic and predictable I just couldn’t take it any more after that point.

Some positives? Yeah, sure. It’s a very beautiful game and the cut-scenes are gorgeous. The story is good, but at times going full retard which is very saddening. There’s probably more, but I can’t be arsed to remember.

So that’s it. That’s why I don’t like Max Payne, and I guess a run down of the game’s story. Hopefully it’s a good read. Just feels good to type out my disappointment.

See ya’ll later!

Railroad Diary

Stuff I write about and so on.